Yoga has traditionally
stressed brahmacharya (“the right use of energy”), offering various effective
techniques to withdraw from sensory stimulation. While I do not entirely disagree
with this aspect of the 4000+ year old spiritual path toward enlightenment, I
also have come to embrace the idea that human consciousness has developed to
the extent that we as a species are ready (and one might even look around and
say we are not just ready but the world is at crisis level) to embrace tantra, which is inclusive of sensual and sexual
energy as part of a spiritual path: everything earthly is also Divine, in the
spirit of non-dualism.
There are a variety of paths
called “tantra,” and a Facebook group of which I am a member places emphasis on
defining and disagreeing on what “tantra” actually is—much in the same way a
student of Iyengar yoga might attend a Kripalu class and emerge saying, “That’s
not yoga!” and vice versa.
While the the Kripalu
students and the Iyengar students could form a Facebook group and spend hours
discussing the finer points of what constitutes yoga, and perhaps eventually (I’m
optimistic) come to agreement, is that the most productive use of time? Perhaps
a better use of time is to agree to disagree and allow both (and all, even,
acro-yoga!) to be called “yoga” and then go DO it.
That’s what I propose for
tantra.
While on an imaginary
continuum there is, on the far right, a philosophy called “tantra” that has
nothing whatsoever to do with sexuality; and on the far, far left there is an association
with the word “tantra” (aka neo-tantra) with concepts like polygamy, polyamory,
group sex and getting naked with complete strangers, in the middle of that
continuum is the “tantra” that I know and love: a spiritual path inclusive of
and honoring sexual energy, composed of both ancient and modern yogic
techniques that awaken the Divine flow of life within, to promote a state of
sex-heart-consciousness.
Is the yoga world ready for sexual
tantra? I posit that it is. Why should sexual energy and genitals be the one
area not addressed, not included, by yoga? The tantric sex path requires
skillful, compassionate guidance (even if you are guiding yourself) and an
abiding identification with the highest part, the Divine part, of yourself and
others, as well as a deep acceptance of the lowest, most human and flawed
parts—of yourself and others, and especially your partner, if you have one. That,
and desire, is all one needs.
While we in our journey as
yoga teachers and students and aficionados are leaving sexual energy off the
mat, sex is a billion dollar industry online, and the current generation of
young people are learning about sex from porn, learning to objectivize each
other’s body parts, learning to separate sex from intimacy (or even from
actually knowing the name of their sex partner). Far from being a prude, I am a
lover at heart—and I see the value of knowing the person whose energy and
physical body I am allowing to penetrate mine. I question which senses and
chakras need to be shut down in order to engage intimately with people we don’t
know, people whom we might not even like
if we did know them. I want more for the next generation and I want more for
myself.
Meanwhile in the real world,
we have couples working all day, drinking coffee to fuel up, wine to wind down,
exhausted and crabby at the end of the day with no tools or techniques to
reawaken their sexual energy in order to be fully present with the one they
love the most—even if they go to a yoga class regularly.
It has been instilled in us
21st Century-dwellers that marital union is practically the climax
of our existence. We were taught the proper gender identity to unionize with,
depending on the gender identity that was given to us at birth, based on
genitals that may or may not match up with our mental gender identity. This identity
and partnering system is a thick belief system, handed down through generations
in a patriarchal society, until now self-perpetuating unquestioned. And sex is
associated with it. The structure of the belief system around gender and
coupling has begun to be questioned; why not question, and maybe even
enlighten, the paradigm of sexuality itself too?
If you have a voracious
appetite for paradigm shifts, you might like tantra. Tantra says that not only
is sex not a shameful and nasty physical act, but that it is an act of Divine
Union (whether you are married to your partner or not)—in other words, that sex
is inherently spiritual. That our
physical bodies are a gateway to higher consciousness. Yes, people actually
meditate in sex positions. (Wouldn’t one distract from the other? Are they not
mutually exclusive? Merging the two is the tantric sex path. Take it from a
longtime practitioner: Best. Meditation. Ever.)
We have lost sight of the
deeply unifying energy that sex is. Surely we are ready for tantra as an
ancient art reclaimed. It feels foreign, but it can be brought home very
happily. I have never seen anyone at the end of a tantra workshop feeling
inadequate—experiencing and sharing this quality of energy makes a person feel
they are enough—and it leads people
who already feel like they are enough to feel divine.
Tantra increases the sheer
volume of sexual energy within and around you. But it filters it through the
Heart and higher consciousness so that it’s clean, pure, and appropriate—even
though it’s sexual. Many have come to know it as creative energy and embody a heightened awareness. (“I
want what they’ve got,” I thought, when I first met my tantra teachers on a
modest Midwestern front porch.)
Through breathing and
awareness exercises, rather than a physical act (“friction sex,” my beloved
teacher Richard Asimus calls it) sex becomes a spiritual act—like a full-body
prayer, in the way that yoga can be a full-body prayer. After our own bodies
have been cleansed and more finely tuned, we tune in to each other and feel
that sense of Union that we crave. Deep intimacy is hot.
Our everyday consciousness
craves that moment of orgasm in which we fully let go of wanting, of habit, of
everything banal…through tantra it is revealed that that this bliss is
happening and available all around us at any time; though typically we need to
be in the moment of orgasm in order
to feel it. But it is not just about genitals. We mistake it for being merely
genital stimulation and brain activity. It is also an energy present on the
planet at all times, for those who learn to tune into it—and it can happen in
any chakra.
Tantra teaches us to tune
into this bliss in everyday life. Therefore it’s great for longtime couples,
who re-learn to harmonize in a way that leads to enhanced sexual experiences.
It is hard to practice tantra
and maintain the mainstream myth that sex is shameful, or that it should be
properly relegated to the end of the day, after all the bills have been paid
and the dishes done. Instead, celebrate it! Prioritize it! Honor it! You can
see why tantra has been underground since the 13th Century—no one
would have ever paid the bills or done the dishes (but now that we can pay
online and use dishwashers, don’t we have more free time?). Tantra exposes
other myths too, such as the one that says humans are born guilty. (In my estimation,
the only original sin is believing that we were born with an original sin.)
Warning: tantra may lead to the breaking down of societal mores. At the same
time, why not say yes to breaking down the ones that leave sexy people (i.e.,
all of us) feeling shamed or oppressed?
These tools and techniques,
the ability to awaken our energy and be fully present to the Divine in oneself
and one’s partner, are what tantra teaches (or what, in particular,
UGoddessTantra (my “brand”) teaches. My teachers at TantraHeart.com taught me,
and their teachers at Ipsalu Tantra Kriya yoga taught them—my “brand” is
lineage-based going back to the Kriya Yoga described in Autobiography of a
Yogi. (Yogananda’s Babaji is Ipsalu Tantra’s Babaji.)
And so on back into the past,
back to a time when the vagina was revered as the gateway between heaven and
earth. You are invited to jump in—wherever you’re at--and create a new paradigm
that honors yourself, body mind and spirit. It is time to find a new space for
women to reside in that is neither virgin nor mother nor whore…nor any of the old
paradigms handed down to us. It is time to create a paradigm for male sexuality
that is empowering but doesn’t assert power over
anyone. Students of yoga and life can create ourselves to be however we want to
be, to claim that unique individual territory in this amazing thousand petaled
lotus that is the Divine Human.
A manifesto: the planet is
not just ready, but crying out for, a heart-sex-consciousness that has been
hibernating for millennia. Awaken this consciousness in yourself alone, or
invite your partner—not just for yourselves and each other but to create
enlightened sexuality on a planet that deeply needs that kind of transformation.
UGoddessYoga offers Tantra 101: Demystifying the Ancient System
to Awaken Your Erotic Intelligence, February 13, 2016. For more information
and to join the mailing list: ugoddesyoga@gmail.com.
