ENERGETIC CONNECTIONS WITH MY MOTHER
This book is my mother’s biggest fear. Why would she fear that her daughter would write an engaging, pioneering handbook about enhancing the mother-daughter connection? Shortly after I embarked upon a spiritual path, my mother confessed her fear: that I would discover she was a bad mom. Was she a bad mom? Well, that’s not exactly the point. The point is, she had an idea in her head that that’s what happens when people go to “therapy,” or do personal growth workshops. They discover bad parenting. But just to add to the fear that I’d discover she was a bad mom, here I am writing a book about…moms. So as she reads this, she is no doubt waiting for the part where it says she was a bad mom. There is evidence that our thoughts create our world. How disastrous that that fear of hers would be about to manifest…it could be in the next couple of paragraphs! I may be leading up to it now!
Can you see how a belief like that might color her experience? Of life, and of reading this book. Can you see how reading a book from a fearful place, or from a place of vigilance, would cause a feeling of contraction?
Just to liberate her right away, I will proclaim to the world: you were not a bad mom! Part of growing up and part of personal growth is looking back and seeing how our habits were formed so we can be aware and have choices.
And for all the rest of us, moms whose daughters are still growing avidly, I will proclaim: we are the perfect mom for the daughter we have.
The way my generation was parented was often based on a fear of authority. In reaction to that, there is a generation that has been parented from the opposite place, a place of child-led parenting—pleasing the child as opposed to doing the potential damage that the fear of authority clearly created.
And I would like to offer another option: yogic parenting. Conscious parenting. The premise is soul connection. The premise is that at the highest possible spiritual level, this child chose her parents precisely for what she’d get—and not get. And our responsibility is not to go on autopilot, not to unconsciously repeat what we were taught or told, or decide that pleasing the child is the less damaging, easier route. Our responsibility is to be conscious.
If both mother and daughter listen to their own inner voice, the highest voice that comes through at any given moment, we will be guided to a place that will be fulfilling for both of us.
Life is always changing, all around us. How do we handle that change, how do we adapt and enjoy? What messages do we send ourselves when our life does not seem to be flowing in our chosen direction? And on top of that, what do we do or say when our daughters’ lives are not flowing in their—or our—chosen direction?
Friday, September 9, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Fired Up
“NO pain, NO gain.” Remember that lovely workout adage?
But do we still need it?
What if you were told that there's going to be a happy ending, for sure?--that every bit of your life, whatever your current concerns are, magically turns out better than you ever would have expected. How would you live? And what if you were told, in a way that you couldn’t ignore, that there was NO reason ever to worry? Would you keep making up reasons to worry? Would you need more proof? Why do we humans insist that life has to be hard? And why do we insist that there has to be proof?
Is it that we look back at human experience and it was? There are very few history books describing the beauty and spirit of our ancestors. It sounds like all they did was fight each other. Bad things happened constantly. Apparently the people who write history books are mostly interested in stuff like that. It is so interesting to me that my homeschooling daughter has only a very passing interest in history; she has sat through enough of my yoga classes to hear me suggest: stay in the present moment. Don't put any energy into regretting the past or worrying about the future. And then create a vision of your life from NOW.
If you need to look at the past, take a look at a history line and see humans' rapid development at a glance. We are amazing! Living in amazing times! Why look back at less conscious times? Many would say, to study our mistakes. Ok, I'll save time: anything that did not come from a place that honored the planet and its inhabitants...was a mistake. That would include creating far more trash than the planet can process. Let's create our world from a new place in ourselves. Not from lack, fear, or desire for power or money, all of which have co-created the constant stress we live with.
There is no need to look back at the remains of our old perceptions, even in our own individual dramas. Let's look forward. Yes people used to think the world was flat. Guess what, we as a species are still that unaware. We just don't know what the next huge paradigm-shifting piece is, yet. We don't know what we don't know.
What if? What if we looked toward experience, and from this new vantage point, our future looked euphoric? Or even just placid? What if life wasn’t hard, out there in the future; what if food and shelter were easy to create in such a way that everyone was satisfied with their share? What if? Does the evidence around us prevent us from being creative enough to imagine that? If so, that means we are victims of that external evidence; it has us in its grip and we need to check in on it repeatedly to make sure we are still not free, or happy, or rich.
How can we train ourselves as a species to out-create that? To create something new, to create a new vision for the future. Physics has observed, says Corrie, that life is all in the eye of the beholder and where the beholder is positioning herself, that she is, in other words, an active participant in creation. Yes, physics! So can we therefore create whatever we choose? Can we the people come to a few basic agreements that could change the world? Does change need to explode onto the scene because a bomb was dropped or a child was killed? Do we need to rally ‘round tragedy? Or can we rally around an amazing new paradigm, a great Creation, a vision that actually does change the world?
Anyway. Have I mentioned? I walked on fire last weekend.
“Real fire?” is the first question I’m asked. Yes--real fire that’s been baked down to a scrunchy perfection for three hours, chanted to, sung to, then spread into a glowing-charcoal-wood sidewalk under the rich and infinitely starry New Mexico sky. An energy of fear and excitement mingle and check each other out...as is often the case where there's fire. The beauty of this gathering is that everyone is willing to feel the fear and transform it into excitement. The new moon that weekend made the sky extra dark and the lunar cycle perfect for intention-setting. Fifty people who were willing to do things differently were present to inspire each other to create great visions for the New Year. And most of us walked on real fire. For a few it was our second or third or fourth firewalk. My experience is: it doesn't get easier. But it does get more fun.
Once one has walked on fire, with no physical trace whatsoever (my feet were actually cold from the time they spent in the snow, not hot from the time they spent on the coals) it is absolutely clear that where we place our minds has a direct effect on the experience of our bodies. Once one has walked on fire, there is a sense that nothing is impossible. There is a sense of euphoria, both a personal “I did it!” and a Universal, “Life is magical!” It becomes very clear that we create our worlds, and that our minds can be put to much better use than worrying that life will have a bad ending.
Not only is there nothing to worry about, but we can and are being called to create our own experiences--and a New Earth--from the highest place we have access to: our Spirits. Think it won't work? If I had considered all the reasons walking on fire wouldn't work, it wouldn't have worked.
I loved the "no pain, no gain" adage for ages. I worked it. I was so willing to go there--it felt genetic. But in recent years, my experience has shown: no pain, HUGE gain. And part of the gain is: the experience that life can be painless. Life—can be painless! No, really. Life can even be euphoric in the face of potential pain. I've lived it. I walk my talk. On fire.
Yes!
It’s all about where you put your mind.
But do we still need it?
What if you were told that there's going to be a happy ending, for sure?--that every bit of your life, whatever your current concerns are, magically turns out better than you ever would have expected. How would you live? And what if you were told, in a way that you couldn’t ignore, that there was NO reason ever to worry? Would you keep making up reasons to worry? Would you need more proof? Why do we humans insist that life has to be hard? And why do we insist that there has to be proof?
Is it that we look back at human experience and it was? There are very few history books describing the beauty and spirit of our ancestors. It sounds like all they did was fight each other. Bad things happened constantly. Apparently the people who write history books are mostly interested in stuff like that. It is so interesting to me that my homeschooling daughter has only a very passing interest in history; she has sat through enough of my yoga classes to hear me suggest: stay in the present moment. Don't put any energy into regretting the past or worrying about the future. And then create a vision of your life from NOW.
If you need to look at the past, take a look at a history line and see humans' rapid development at a glance. We are amazing! Living in amazing times! Why look back at less conscious times? Many would say, to study our mistakes. Ok, I'll save time: anything that did not come from a place that honored the planet and its inhabitants...was a mistake. That would include creating far more trash than the planet can process. Let's create our world from a new place in ourselves. Not from lack, fear, or desire for power or money, all of which have co-created the constant stress we live with.
There is no need to look back at the remains of our old perceptions, even in our own individual dramas. Let's look forward. Yes people used to think the world was flat. Guess what, we as a species are still that unaware. We just don't know what the next huge paradigm-shifting piece is, yet. We don't know what we don't know.
What if? What if we looked toward experience, and from this new vantage point, our future looked euphoric? Or even just placid? What if life wasn’t hard, out there in the future; what if food and shelter were easy to create in such a way that everyone was satisfied with their share? What if? Does the evidence around us prevent us from being creative enough to imagine that? If so, that means we are victims of that external evidence; it has us in its grip and we need to check in on it repeatedly to make sure we are still not free, or happy, or rich.
How can we train ourselves as a species to out-create that? To create something new, to create a new vision for the future. Physics has observed, says Corrie, that life is all in the eye of the beholder and where the beholder is positioning herself, that she is, in other words, an active participant in creation. Yes, physics! So can we therefore create whatever we choose? Can we the people come to a few basic agreements that could change the world? Does change need to explode onto the scene because a bomb was dropped or a child was killed? Do we need to rally ‘round tragedy? Or can we rally around an amazing new paradigm, a great Creation, a vision that actually does change the world?
Anyway. Have I mentioned? I walked on fire last weekend.
“Real fire?” is the first question I’m asked. Yes--real fire that’s been baked down to a scrunchy perfection for three hours, chanted to, sung to, then spread into a glowing-charcoal-wood sidewalk under the rich and infinitely starry New Mexico sky. An energy of fear and excitement mingle and check each other out...as is often the case where there's fire. The beauty of this gathering is that everyone is willing to feel the fear and transform it into excitement. The new moon that weekend made the sky extra dark and the lunar cycle perfect for intention-setting. Fifty people who were willing to do things differently were present to inspire each other to create great visions for the New Year. And most of us walked on real fire. For a few it was our second or third or fourth firewalk. My experience is: it doesn't get easier. But it does get more fun.
Once one has walked on fire, with no physical trace whatsoever (my feet were actually cold from the time they spent in the snow, not hot from the time they spent on the coals) it is absolutely clear that where we place our minds has a direct effect on the experience of our bodies. Once one has walked on fire, there is a sense that nothing is impossible. There is a sense of euphoria, both a personal “I did it!” and a Universal, “Life is magical!” It becomes very clear that we create our worlds, and that our minds can be put to much better use than worrying that life will have a bad ending.
Not only is there nothing to worry about, but we can and are being called to create our own experiences--and a New Earth--from the highest place we have access to: our Spirits. Think it won't work? If I had considered all the reasons walking on fire wouldn't work, it wouldn't have worked.
I loved the "no pain, no gain" adage for ages. I worked it. I was so willing to go there--it felt genetic. But in recent years, my experience has shown: no pain, HUGE gain. And part of the gain is: the experience that life can be painless. Life—can be painless! No, really. Life can even be euphoric in the face of potential pain. I've lived it. I walk my talk. On fire.
Yes!
It’s all about where you put your mind.
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